By Stefan Borst-Censullo, Esq.
To begin off I want to apologize to you, the good reader, for my contribution to this over stuffed cannon of “hey so you’re about to take the bar, here’s some tips.” However you have obviously decided to read this post, so you are either very bored or beyond desperate. In any case I hope this will help you realize either that ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST or alternatively assist in further procrastination before you dive headfirst into the eight hours of MBE’s.
The main lesson that I, an underemployed, heavily indebted, but FULLY LICENSED ATTORNEY can impart on you (the poor idiot who went through law school and is now in the midst of studying for the bar) is to remember what the bar is really testing. The bar is not measuring your intelligence, your commitment to the pursuit of justice, or the goodness of your soul. Rather the bar is a relentless and frankly unnecessary hazing ritual that any decent society would have dispatched at the same time we figured out that sacrificing virgins had no affect on our corn crop. Plenty of great advocates have failed the bar multiple times while undeserving morons (like yours truly) somehow managed to sneak past the graders.
The bar is nothing more than a ritual that our esteemed elders in the legal community (who need to retire so we can take their jobs) insist that we need to endure simply because they too went through it. The way to pass this awful exam involves the time old method of “embracing the suck.” Translated from its original grunt, that your best bet is to focus on improving your chances of survival through trying your best to put in 8-10 good hours of studying a day in some sort of organized methodology of covering as many subjects as possible.
That’s really it.
Put in your time (especially on pacing for performance tests). Practice as much as you can (‘cause the MBE’s are only testing regurgitation). And hope that you lived a clean and decent life (good karma will guarantee that the essays cover subjects that came natural to you throughout the last few years in school).
However given razor-thin edge between passing (which feels like this) and failing (seen here), it’s understandably unnerving to think about how little of your fate is out of your control. Luckily there are a few things (other than studying) that help improve your odds.
- Don’t take chances with your computer. I bit the bullet and replaced my five-year-old Mac once it started showing its age. The “hey I’m going to turn off without warning” thing was annoying enough while I was streaming Bobs Burgers, and it would have been panic inducing during the test.
- Spend good money on a quiet hotel. With all the understandably massive levels of stress you’ll have during the actual testing days, there’s no guarantee you’ll have a good nights sleep. But a place with thick walls and dark curtains is a nice place to decompress.
- Don’t skimp on exercising and eating right. Look I have no clue whether my habits of long distance running and healthy snaking contributed to me passing or not. HOWEVER I can tell you that I maintained my focus during both my period studying, and the extent of those grueling three without a blood sugar drop or an emergency run to the toilet during the MBE’s. So do your best to get 45 minutes to an hour a day of some sort of movement (walking the dogs would suffice), and eat whole grains, fruits, veggies, and lean proteins like your mom told you to do years ago.
- Imbibe some mood-elevating media. Inevitably during the course of your studies you are going to have moments/days full of self-doubt. Furthermore walking into a room of a few thousand stressed out type-A personalities undergoing the most important test of their lives is a bit intimidating. Therefore do you best to take the occasional break from studying to look at a cute animal (your friends who went to med school even approve). On the way to the test listen to family friendly inspirational music, or really anything from friend of the legal community Freddie Gibbs. When things got especially bad I (reflexively) turned to this preview of “Elysium,” because repeatedly seeing Matt Damon murder rich people in space somehow reminded me why I was taking the bar in the first place.
Finally I have to say that the best advice BARBRI gave me during the extent of this test was remembering that taking the bar is a privilege. Plenty of people (not me) would trade places with you in a second. In addition, YES, becoming a lawyer (even in this job market) is worth this pain. So seriously, I wish a sincere “best of luck” to all of y’all. This is an experience you will justifiably hate, but the reward is sweet.